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about

I wrote "Dirt" with a friend of mine when I was fifteen. She showed me a half-finished poem she'd written and asked for my help turning it into a song. Well, I'd never written a (good) song before, but I came up with a melody and helped write the second verse, and *poof* we had a (pretty dang good) song on our hands! "Dirt" is a song about depression. It's about feeling gross and tired and helpless. But it's also about surviving. It's about things being as bad as they get and still choosing to fight and to work.

lyrics

Lyrics:

we all grow and we all die
and i think i’m gonna be buried alive
lungs filled with dirt and my veins ain’t got no air
but i ain’t never gonna make it out alive

what does it mean to be stuck here
too tired to live and too scared to die
maybe every day is a small death
don’t know if i’ll make it out alive

so maybe they’ll bury me
in my bedsheets and dirty dishes
and maybe time’s wasted
and seeds frosted
and gemination's unkempt
untimely displacement
roots frozen
and my body lost in a moldy stagnation
but goddamn it
i’ll spit dirt and dig

veins blossom and braid
twisted and unattainable
bones gnarled into branches
and hearts hidden from the eye

so maybe they’ll bury me
in my bedsheets and dirty dishes
and maybe time’s wasted
and seeds frosted
and gemination's unkempt
untimely displacement
root’s frozen
and my body's lost in a moldy stagnation
but goddamn it
i’ll spit dirt and dig

oh
oh
oh

maybe they’ll bury me
in my bedsheets and dirty dishes
and maybe time’s wasted
and seeds frosted
and gemination's unkempt
untimely displacement
root’s frozen
and my body's lost in a moldy stagnation
but goddamn it
i’ll spit dirt and dig

credits

from Songs to the Monster Under My Bed, released May 1, 2021
Mirabai Kukathas (she/they) - lyrics, melody, vocals
Zora Seboulisa (she/her) - lyrics
Zoser Dunbar (he/him) - acoustic guitar
Grafton Downs (he/him) - bass
Olivia Green (she/her) - drums
Matt "Sabyu" Sablan (he/him) - keys, production

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Mirabai Kukathas Seattle, Washington

sadly cannot rollerskate

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